Fluidity

The primary idea behind this series is to create a visual construct of my personal reflection on gender, which leads itself to topics of gender politics, performance, and identity. As I was growing up, there was also an image of myself in my mind, which was never very feminine by general standards. Whenever I had the chance, I dressed in ways that would resemble a tomboy. There was always a disconnection between seeing myself in a very feminine form, as I always preferred dressing in "boy's/men's" clothes.

Perhaps this was the case as I was close with my older brother when we were growing up, and I wanted to imitate him and his friends in as many ways as I could, mainly through my expression via my fashion choices.

Nevertheless, as a young person, pressures began to arise to conform to social groups during primary and high school years. These pressures inevitably lead to bullying in the form of derogatory name-calling and general teasing about resembling a male. Nonetheless, if it was a special occasion (for example, a school formal, weddings etc.) I'd conform to the standard feminine beauty ideals formed in society – illustrated in the very first image. However, if left to my own devices, I dress relatively comfortably, avoiding the hassle of losing time on hair, makeup and expensive and uncomfortable outfits, which makes me unhappy.

However, most times, my daily outfits can somewhat resemble a masculine or unisex representation, as demonstrated in the second and third images. This representation brings us to my final series of photos where there is a gender performance going on; this can relate to performing for others during special occasions and my own performance through my preferred choice of clothing.

The expressions, lighting schemes, catch light, shadows, and colours are all technical photography aspects that add to the idea of gender performance and identity. Presented in the form of a triptych, the order of these images represents the spectrum of gender and where I find myself placed within the fluidity of these gender roles.

As this concept aims to reflect a personal experience, it seemed fitting to choose self-portraiture to convey that personal experience rather than an arrangement of objects. I believe this creates a stronger tie to the idea of gender and my own experiences of gender in fashion.

Visual influencers include Cindy Sherman, Yousuf Karsh and Robert Mapplethorpe.